


The Last Thoughts of a Dying Man (Who Totally Isn't Dying At All)

by Medie



Category: Supergirl (2015)
Genre: F/M, Potential Spoilers, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is gonna die and it's too bad that Kara isn't in the family business because he sure as hell could use a little saving right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Thoughts of a Dying Man (Who Totally Isn't Dying At All)

**Author's Note:**

> because six minutes is TOTALLY enough to write fic on, right?. 
> 
> Based on a prompt from lone_lilly at the [Supergirl Comment Fest](http://medie.dreamwidth.org/1867786.html?view=19354122&posted=1#cmt19354122)
> 
> And because there was never a chance I was going to wait until November to start writing these two.

Oh god, she's cute and he's dead. Clark is going to straight up murder him if he ever gets word of what James is thinking at this moment. Seriously, he is gonna die and, watching how Kara fumbles her way around to introducing herself, he almost doesn't mind it.

Seriously, puppies and rainbows could take lessons on cute from this woman. 

He is in so much trouble and it makes so much sense now why Lois was laughing at him like she was.

Clearly, he needs to move to Kasnia and change his name because he can ever speak to her ever again.

He is gonna die and it's too bad that Kara isn't in the family business because he sure as hell could use a little saving right now. 

*

Yeah, that part about moving to Kasnia? Probably should've done that faster.

"Stop panicking, Olsen," Lois laughs. He can hear her fingers snapping and wonders which intern she's terrorizing this time. "He's on a mudslide in South America. He can't hear a word about the massive crush you're nursing for the sole surviving blood relative he has left in the _entire universe_."

Oh god, she's going to milk this for everything she can get. 

He's gonna die _twice_. Clark'll find a way to resurrect him and then kill him again.

God help him if Batman gets in on the fun. That guy is a special sort of terrifying and, hell, he'll probably have the whole damn Justice League on his ass.

Maybe he can persuade Green Arrow to make it quick and shoot him before the others find out.

"You could enjoy this a little less," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm supposed to be here to help her with the family business; not registering us at Macy's."

Lois makes this honest to god _cooing sound_ that Lois Lane, scourge of billionaires and tyrants around the world, should never, ever make and James starts drawing up his last will and testament.

"Awww, that is just _precious_ , Olsen. You got the kids names picked out too or can I make an argument for Lois? Clark's a good one. It's unisex--are you crying?"

He may or may not be sobbing right now, but hell if he's going to admit it to her. "Please, never ever tell Clark about _any of this_?"

"Oh, never," Lois promises in that breezy way that makes Luthor's blood run cold. "He'd do something noble and try to make me apologize. We both know that wouldn't end well."

Which, true, a point he hadn't considered. He's pretty sure he's still going to get murdered though.

Clark could always get the Flash to push him down the stairs or something. Cameras can't catch the guy right? Totally look like an accident.

Lois decides to take mercy, apparently, which says she's just saving the rest of his torment until later. "Look, Jimmy," because he'll _always_ be Jimmy to her, "Kara's a grown woman. She pays rent, does her taxes, and in between defying the laws of physics, decides who does or doesn't share her bed. Clark does not actually get a vote in that and I'm pretty sure she'd dropkick him halfway to Pluto if he tried. Okay?"

James sucks in a breath, tries to remember he's supposed to be a grown up too, and nods. Which, yeah, Lois can't see, but she's Lois. She's halfway to omniscient and it's easy to see why _Clark_. Who else would be able to keep up with her but an alien with godlike superpowers?

"Okay," he says, and sighs heavily, "but if he kills me, you need to take Grandma's rosebush."

"Oh hell no, give that thing to Alfred. I'd kill it in ten seconds flat." Without a beat she says, "Gimme your computer. If you think I don't know Queen boosted that thing up for you..."

Yeah, he's gonna die.

Also, who the hell told Lois _that_?

*

It's not that he's looking for her at work, but he's totally looking for her at work. All the time. Like his day doesn't get good until Kara sticks her head into his office with that smile and waves coffee at him. "Totally not superheated, I swear," she always says and, god, he should probably worry about it, but he's too busy looking like he isn't scrambling around his desk.

He is totally scrambling around his desk.

"You try that yet?" he asks, taking the cup carefully. "One way to sure her ladyship's coffee is the right temp."

Kara's eyes do this thing and how can a woman who can _crush him with her pinky_ be that damn adorable? "Oh god, no," she blurts. "I'd probably make the cup explode or something. Not ready for that yet."

"Yeah, well, you ever see what he can do with a turkey?"

" _Seriously_?"

"So he says, but I never could tell when he's joking." 

"He does that," she nods. 

"Doesn't work on you?"

"I was older." She laughs. "Space travel complicates _everything_ \--oh god, speaking of complicated. She's here."

There's a tiny bit of superspeed in the way she dashes down the hallway, but he is too damn happy to even worry about it.

So much about Lois becomes clear. 

*

"You probably should be a little more careful around the office?" he tries, one afternoon on their way into the supply closet (because, judging by the way they disappear, the black market price on bic pens is _astronomical_ ). "Like people are clueless, but--"

"Cat's not?"

"She worked with Clark," James shrugs. "I figure if anyone's going to put two and two together, it's going to be somebody that works with the both of you." He looks at her and yelps, closing the door in a rush. "Are you fl--y'know?"

She's about a foot off the ground, looking into a box on the top shelf, and he is not looking. He is not looking at her butt. He is not looking at her butt. He is--totally going to die because Superman is going to drop him off the top of the Daily Planet. 

Hell, it might be worth it.

"I, uh, you probably--can you not be doing that please?" 

"Are you covering your eyes?" Kara's laughing. She is absolutely laughing at him. Her fingers tug gently at his until she's peeking through them at him and how cute is that smile? "You're covering your eyes!"

"I've got this thing about not wanting to be a smear on the pavement." 

She raises an eyebrow. "I'm going to guess that makes sense in your head, but out here? Not a whole lot."

God, he's in trouble. He is seriously, seriously in trouble. 

He fumbles with the hand not being held by Kara, waving toward the shelf. "You were--things were in places and I do not want your cousin to kill me dead."

She doesn't get it for a second, maybe, but then her eyes go wide. "You--oh--my--" she looks back at it then at him and her cheeks would give her cape a run for its money right now. "Wow." 

"...wait, wow?"

Kara rolls her eyes and gives him a little shove, which for her, means he hits the door a little. Not much because, well, no room anyway, and she sort of realizes at the last second and this is so much more awkward than even he would've guessed. 

Except she's also smiling and that maybe means good wow?

"Uh, since I'm not currently in another zipcode, I can safely assume this means I'm not about to die?" he tries, hopeful, and she just starts laughing. "Seriously, you do realize he'll kill me, right?"

"No, he won't, because then Lois will kill him and I'll help her hide the body," Kara beams. "We can make a robot or something."

"That's terrifying. Cute, but terrifying."

Kara grins. "My major influences include my sister and Lois Lane. There's literally no other possible outcome."

Which, okay, fair point. 

"So, I'm really confused right now, but I think that's okay?" James tries, which just makes her laugh harder and, yeah, he can work with that. Like making her laugh has just jumped to the top five on his priorities list. 

"It's more than okay," Kara says, tugging on his shirt.

Oh, right, this part he can so do. 

*

Turns out? They get stuck in there because the door jams, but that's totally, totally fine. 

He's not going to die. His girlfriend can totally take Superman in a fight.


End file.
